Another part is that trans feminists like myself believe that any discussion of transmisogyny must center around trans women ourselves.I don’t agree with Laverne Cox (for once in my life) when she says that men who date trans women “But neither can I pretend that you live your life totally free from the violence and humiliation that a transmisogynistic culture attaches to my body – a body that you have touched and held and become associated with.
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What you have to understand is that these attacks come from a place of fear.
I want you to know that you change my life and give me strength – even when things between us were/are hard.
I want you to know that I see you, I appreciate you, even when I am challenging you to treat women like me – trans women and women of color – better than men in this society are taught to.
Past, present, and future boyfriends, I need to tell you something: If you identify as straight, then you can date trans women. If you are gay, pansexual, omnisexual, or asexual, you can date trans women, and it doesn’t change your identity one little bit unless you want it to, because you know what?
Most often, you have absorbed this message from the media: How many Hollywood comedies feature jokes where a straight man finds out that he’s been dating or having sex with a trans woman and flat-out vomits?
Both of these things are true because of the transmisogyny that still runs rampant in our society and the communities we live in.And while this discrimination and hatred is mainly leveled toward girls like me, I know that some of it is reflected onto you as well.A huge amount of the stigma around straight men who date trans women is actually based in homophobia.Straight men who are attracted to us are called “f*ggots” and “h*mos,” and may have their heterosexuality called into question.I know that being a man who is dating a trans woman (who is outspoken and only sometimes passes) is not always an easy thing.Let’s also take as a given the fact that being a trans woman who is outspoken and only sometimes passes is pretty much never easy thing.