As is often the case in this electronic equivalent to digging through storage boxes, I was immediately harassed with a little pop-up box on the bottom right-hand corner of my Yahoo! These are always spam chat messages, and the older the e-mail account, the more pop ups I receive when I log in.
I had x'd out all but two, when I decided that I was bored and I'd actually write back.
That's what I had to do a couple weeks ago, in order to obtain my password to a Paypal account that I hadn't accessed since high school.
It might sound like the plot of a 1980s sci-fi film - but sex robots may actually be the biggest tech trend of 2016.
The popularity of the artificially human machines has grown directly in tandem with their realism.
The machine who seduced me with her too-tiny, color-fading panties and stole my heart with her year-round love for Christmas and New Years.
The constantly-typing bot who made me realize that there is only one thing I need more than a spam-free e-mail account: A girlfriend.
But the thing is, I can never completely dispose of my past e-mail accounts.
Not because I am sentimental or an electronic hoarder, but because I know that I will undoubtedly encounter a scenario in which I must recover a password to another website.
But the accounts eventually become inundated with junk mail and I must move on to a new electronic identity, much like the Witness Protection Program.
They are all created with an aim at a spam-free, fresh start, in which I only give my e-mail address to my close family and friends.
Here's how it went: And that was the last I ever heard of Jennababe3961, the robot slut who denies the fact that she was both a robot and a slut.
The cyborg temptress who tantalizes inboxes with promises of naughty webcam sessions and even naughtier grammatical errors.