Only you know whether the love you feel and the respect and values you share with your current boyfriend justifies a serious commitment; only you know whether you’re happy.If so, quit communicating with your first love and focus all your energy on this one.About half had never slept with their beloved during the initial romance, mainly because so many of the first lovers were very young at the time, or grew up in an era/area of strong social pressures to abstain.
Or maybe the kids we grow up with tend to share a lot of aspects of our own background—money, religion, education, etc.—that add up to being enough alike to form a basis for lasting love.
Although a few re-connections crash and burn, almost 80% of rekindled first loves—if single at the time of the re-kindling! So, Kalish’s research predicts that yes, your love with your first boyfriend is realistic, and yes, you could remain blissfully happy with him for a lifetime—IF you fit a certain profile. —Youth and inexperience: It appears that happy rekindlers were first loves, usually not later loves.
And they were young—typically under age 17, and sometimes even children—when they first fell in love.
It appears that this tender point of our development may lead some people into a form of emotional bonding that sets the ideal.
Or maybe some just get really lucky and meet a great mate early on.
We met in 6th grade and dated for about a year and a half. It didn’t work, and I had a hard time dating other guys. Now, I’ve been seeing someone else for 2 ½ years, and we’re pretty serious, but I’m having doubts about whether I want to be with him anymore.There are problems in the relationship, problems I don’t think we’re going to move past.And also, I’m back in contact with my first love, and the old-flame feelings are returning.So—am I just fantasizing about my first love during a tough time in the current relationship, or was that love real? Chelsea Dear Chelsea—You’ve got two questions here: Whether to stay in the relationship you’re currently in, and whether re-igniting a romantic relationship with your first love is realistic.But if the relationship feels wrong, please remind yourself that you’re not married until you’ve said “I Do” in front of witnesses.Which means you are still free to make the best decision for yourself. As science would have it, the best decision could well be returning to your first love. Nancy Kalish, expert on reunited relationships and author of a research-based book, , has interviewed hundreds of lovers who re-established contact with a former flame.