But you don’t know what the deal is plus not enough has actually happened to indicate what the deal possibilities are.
Good sense of humour, shared love of bungee jumping and sleeping at a 17 degree angle and whatever else – no indication of values, or at least not that the ones that are fundamental to you.
Some of you are trying to strike a relationship deal by signing on the dotted line with people who are not out of contract on their previous deal.
Some people are courting a few deals and avoiding signing to any…
You’ll begin to discover the facts about them (and they you) and part of this is recognising what the facts mean, even if it signals the end.
Sometimes in your eagerness to be in a ‘deal’, you forget a few things: Experience has taught me that whether it’s in personal or business relationships, many people will talk the talk and appear to be walking the walk in the run up to closing and confirming the deal, but when it comes to putting their proverbial money where their mouth is, they disappear, raise ‘sudden’ objections’, or withdraw what they’ve been offering and leave you with an inferior replacement deal.
Living a life that respects you and follows the path of the values you claim to have means you shouldn’t be trying to ‘strike up a deal’ with any ‘ole person.
Unfortunately, this is what many people are trying to do with dating – before you’ve even sussed out the person, you’ve already put yourself under pressure that you’ve got to close the deal!
Having self-esteem which includes your boundaries and values, plus being knowledgable on code amber and red behaviour, helps you to work out your deal breakers, which are the things you cannot accept and overlook that will render your relationship over.
Some of you think you’re doing due diligence but are looking at the wrong things and then wondering why you’re not in the right relationship.
Note, I don’t factor casual relationships (oxymoron alert) into this because it’s a bit thick to claim to be dating with the purpose of lining up someone for a shag, an ego stroke and a shoulder to lean on – it’s called ‘dating’ to get your foot through the door like one of those dodgy sales people.
If they told you they were going to sell you a busted up vacuum cleaner or insurance that you don’t need, you wouldn’t let them in.