I can't help but recall the description of the state by n + 1 writer Freddie Deboer, "Aside from a few college towns -- New Haven, New London, New Britain, 'New' as in England, new as in 'no old money' -- where there's some real diversity, Connecticut is a sea of comfortable whiteness with afflicted pockets of brown."If you're an over-educated Black woman of a racially-mixed background, Connecticut may not be the best place to find a date, let alone a relationship. Recent studies have proven that online dating can be tainted by racism. If you're young, black and female, your identity might be a liability.
Hiding behind the relative anonymity of the Internet allows all walks of bigots and sexists to vocalize their views.
I've decided to give up on online dating as an act of self-care.
In the more eloquent words of Audre Lorde, "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence.
It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare." I suspect that my creep magnet was on extra-high due to living in an area of the country where whiteness is homogenized and liberal racism runs rampant.
The suburbs of Connecticut aren't shining beacons of racial diversity.
Regardless, the everyday racism that Black women encounter in the real world is often translated into a few thoughtless and crass keystrokes.In fact, the Wall Street Journal declared that Black women are "the most unmarried group of people in the U.Everyone seems to have a convenient solution for single people who have fallen into a monumental dating slump: Look for love online! According to Kevin Lewis, a University of California-San Diego professor and sociologist, the average user of an online dating site is more likely to to contact someone who shares his/her racial background.In the age of instant gratification and lightening-speed technology, the 21st-century meet-cute is about as romantic as browsing the cereal aisle in the grocery store. Fork over your cash and trust the algorithms perfected at or e Harmony. Using Ok Cupid as his data pool, he gathered the following information about the racial breakdown of user interactions: "Most men (except Black men) are unlikely to initiate contact with Black women, all men (including Asian men) are unlikely to reply to Asian women, and although women from all racial backgrounds tend to initiate contact with men from the same background, women from all racial backgrounds also disproportionately reply to white men."Lewis's studies may be unsettling or hard to believe, as other findings have verified that interracial marriage is on the upswing.Some are so bold as to state this "preference" in their profiles, listing which races they don't want to date.What woman wants to be constantly reminded that she's deemed unwanted every time she logs into her Ok Cupid account?