She's just a "friend with benefits" until she discovers her ticking biological clock.
She's all cleavage and legs until you get together-then just try to pull her out of that damned sweats-and-ponytail combo.
She's a complete wild child and free spirit, until you discover she was saving herself-for you.
Then, take it up a notch and pretend to drop-kick any youngster walking a few feet in front of you.
Then all of sudden, you’ve got something heavy happening in your life. You tell her you’d like to talk about it so you can get out of your head.
Red Flags: Watch out for her slick attempts to sneak a peek at your shirt label, uncontrollable sneers at generic brands, and a fondness for ordering twin lobster tails when you're getting the lobster bisque. Snag a discarded ATM receipt with an especially low balance the next time you're getting cash and leave it in plain sight for her to find.
Cap it off by hitting her up to pay next time you go out.
There are so many men out there that are genetically designed to wow women — it’s in their DNA.
Exit Strategy: Make yourself the worst potential father figure imaginable.
Start using words like brat and hellion whenever you see anyone under 10.
Red Flags: Longing gazes at wedding-dress magazines, a season pass for TLC's A Wedding Story on her Ti Vo, or hours and hours of inane wedding talk while on the phone with her friends all signify you've got a future Bridezilla just dying to get behind the veil. Suggest a ménage à trois-or float the idea of an open relationship.
Make sure you tell her it's your life goal to "experience" many people. Then she's slipping her hands into your pockets-and reaching for your wallet.